Laughter is...

good for everything!

On our most recent vacation, I got as good a laugh as an I've ever had.

Kids. Kids make me laugh.

We were having a conversation about what it means to be racist (I know, doesn't sound like a conversation that lends to laughter). I was explaining to 2 of the kids what racism is and how there are differences between what "race" someone is and what "ethnicity" they are sometimes. This lead to a conversation about our family's ethnicity. The conversation was as follows:

B: "So, what are we?"
Me: "We're German on my side of the family and English and French on your dad's side."
Dad: "No, I'm German-Irish."
Me: "That explains a lot."
D: "But I thought we were French. Gramma said she's French."
Me: "Well, I was adopted so my ethnic background is different than Gramma's."
D: "You were adopted? What's that mean?"
Me: "It means, even though Gramma and Grampa raised me, I didn't come from Gramma's belly."
D: <looks quizzically and thoughtfully>
B: "Huh, I didn't know that. (questions about my biological parents here)"
D: <still thinking then looks excitedly and says> "LET'S TELL GRAMMA!"

Hubby was upstairs in the loft and lost it. He was laughing so hard, I was laughing so hard, and Dani's just looking at us all confused.

"Let's tell Gramma." 3 little words that set off a fit of laughter and an explanation of why that's so funny.

I called my mom to tell her what had transpired, she laughed her self silly as well...

Out of the mouths of babes.

~Kim

Stupid is as...

rude does.

I may be a lot of things; a bitch, a mother, a realist, a big mouth, a hot head, but one thing I'm not is RUDE. I cannot STAND rude people.

Recently, I was traveling with my family and we stopped to have lunch at a Denny's. I was tired from being on the road and the kids were going out of their way to see if they could push my buttons, I had HAD IT.

I watched the couple sitting in the booth connected to ours get their food. The woman's eggs weren't how she wanted them. Rather than saying, "Excuse me, my eggs aren't quite right" to the waitress, she says, "This is wrong!" Then proceeds to shove the plate back at the server.

Now, not only is the proclamation inappropriate, she still hasn't identified the problem. As it turns out, her eggs weren't cooked the way she requested, but we don't find that out until much later.

As I sit watching this interaction take place, I think to myself, what's so fucking important about eggs that you need to be rude about it. I waited tables a lot of times in my life. Sixteen years, truth be told. I've encountered one rude person after another.

So after the server's inquired as to what exactly the problem is, the patron replies, "These ain't the way I ordered dem! I want 'em RUNNY in the middle! Do these look runny to you?! They sure ain't, ain't dey?" 

So the server apologizes, rushes to the kitchen after politely letting the gal know she'll bring another plate for her to put the eggs on so she can beginning eating the rest of her meal.

The woman yells behind her "Well, I hope it ain't gonna be cold by tha time you get back!"

What the hell? Was that really necessary to yell at the person who's TRYING to correct the problem? That's just RUDE. R U D E. Rude.

Was anything beyond "I ordered my eggs over easy and these aren't. Can I please get some new ones?" really necessary?

Is it truly necessary to be an asshole when things don't go your way? Sure we all show our ass once in a while, it happens, but, for me anyhow, once we realize we have done such, we at least offer an apology.

Whatever happened to common courtesy? Treating people courteously? I won't say with respect, but respect needs to be earned, in my opinion, but common courtesy doesn't hurt anyone.

You never know what your rude treatment or rude comments do to someone. You can never be sure.

Try to remember; "They're just eggs." Mistakes happen, and odds are pretty good that you're not perfect either.

~Kim

Euphoria is..

finding what was already there.

I've been vacationing with my family. I've spent most of my time here unplugged. I've only taken a couple of phone calls (mostly my mom) and maybe looked at Facebook once a day-ish.

It's been liberating.

I've realized that I spend far too much time "connected" to everything in the world. As if I might miss something, when what I was really missing was right in front of my face.

I was missing the goofy things my kids do, the adoring look of the man I married, and words. Lots of words. I opened books this week. I've read two books so far and am about to tear into my third. My kids seeing me "unplug" has had the same affect on them. There haven't been cries to get on the computer or for me to charge their phones. They've been playing. PLAYING! Outside, all day, everyday.

It's been so relaxing. I've felt giggly and silly and goofy and fun! There have only been a few times when I've felt even the slightest bit annoyed (I mean 3 kids, there's bound to be some annoyances here and there).

We celebrated a birthday while we've been here. It wasn't about parties or gifts for him. It was about having a good time with his family. While he did ask for one thing (and I will make it happen) he wasn't disappointed that he didn't have loads of stuff.

We spend so much of our time trying to give things and do things that we forget the importance of just being. Being happy with what we have. Being happy with who's around us. Being joyful in our own existence. Without all the stuff.

Granted, we're on vacation, but the lesson is still there.

My heart is lighter because I let go.

~Kim

Can't we all just get along...

no really, can't we?

So friendships come and go in our lives. It happens often. People are there, then they're gone. Some of good reason, others out of immature thoughts on what friendship should be.

I have lots of friends. Most of them have become friends from social media or game play, but of course, several are real life friends. Regardless, they're friends.

Not all of my friends are friends of my friends. I do not have one big happy circle of friendship. Some of my friends don't like each other. That's ok. It really is. For several reasons.

The top reason being, I'm a grown up and know all of my friends can't get along. The nice thing about my friends is; they understand this too. They understand the bonds I have formed with my friends have been formed for different reasons. It doesn't revolve around them. If they have a beef with one of my friends, that's their beef, not mine.

Don't drag me into that. I don't need to be involved in that. My friendships are my friendships, your friendships are yours. I don't expect you to dump a friend of yours because I'm angry, had my feelings hurt, or have decided I just don't like that person. I would hope, as a friend of mine, you would reciprocate. You've formed that friendship for whatever reason, and quite frankly, it's none of my business.

I would never ask you to interact with someone you don't like. I would expect the same of you.

I won't play a school yard bully and say "You can't be my friend if you like so and so." Again, I'm a grown up and would hope you are too.

Take a deep breath. Don't be demanding. Don't feel like the world revolves around you. Remember, people form friendships for different reasons, they keep friendships for different reasons, and they dissolve friendships for different reasons. If you are not they, you cannot dictate their friendships.

~Kim

So yeah...

I'm 40.

Yup, I turned 40 a week ago. Leading up to it, I was depressed and scared. Any end of a decade is scary. I've started to look at it as the beginning of a new decade. I forget to act like I'm 40. I had this vision of what 40 is. What 40 should be. It's not that. Not at all.

I'm still me. Immature, giggly, silly me. I like some of the stuff my kids like. I like some of the stuff my mom likes. I like some of the stuff no one likes.

Yeah, lots of people tell me age is just a number. It's so hard to buy that until it happens. I'm learning to let things go. I'm learning that holding on to things makes you old. I'm trying to laugh more. I'm trying to be what I always thought I should be. Happy.

Nothing in particular has changed, yet everything has changed. My life is still crazy, I'm just trying to find the funny in everything. Funny makes me stress less.

I'm high strung and sometimes it's hard to find the funny. I'm not pulling it off all the time, but I'm pulling it off some of the time.

I'm remembering to treat people like people. Not everyone deserves my respect, but they do deserve courtesy. People tend to blend the 2 words together, but in reality they're very different. I'm trying to remember to be courteous.

40's not too bad so far.

~Kim

Two wrongs don't...

make a right, but four lefts do....

So there's tons of controversy about gay marriage. It's every where. While I'm not gay, it doesn't affect me personally, but it affects millions of people. People. That's what all of the advocates are forgetting are involved here. People, with feelings. People whose feelings maybe different than the majority, but they are feelings just the same.

First of all, what gives any government the right to decide who can fall in love with whom? Oh right...the people who don't want things to change. The status quo is comfortable. Just like it was in the 50s, 60s, and 70s when "white" people were "protected" from "black" people by segregating schools, restaurants, buses, bathrooms, and even drinking fountains. I mean, holy shit! Save me from...another person...a person...say it again, a person! You've got to be kidding me!

We're all people, we all start out as an egg and a sperm. We all have a gestation period of, roughly, nine months. Our parents all had sex to conceive us. I mean, what the hell? This is supposed be a country of freedom. Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness, right? Why does that only seem to apply to white heterosexual people?

Oddly, I'm a white heterosexual person. I treat people respectfully (when they've earned it) and considerately regardless of what color their skin is, who their husband/wife is, and even their social class. Obviously, I notice those things, but unless you give me a reason to be a bitch to you, I won't simply do it because you're not like me.

As long as you're not stealing from me, hurting me, or keeping me from living my life how I see fit, what the fuck do I care what you do? If it doesn't affect you, why do you care if Susan and Sharon want to get married, or Steve and Dillion want to adopt a baby? WHY DO YOU CARE?! Think about it for a minute...

Even if you believe gay people are going to hell, is their marriage sending you to hell? NO! It's not! So WHY does it matter? Religion is not even a factor in this, because your religion doesn't affect anyone except you. This country was founded on religious freedom, so religion arguments are moot. (Read a history book if you think I'm full of shit)

I think purple toenails are pretty and you think pink are pretty. We disagree, but NEITHER affects YOU or ME! If we all believed the same thing, did the same thing, lived the same way, this world would be pretty fucking boring.

Even if being gay was a choice (which, by the way, I don't believe at all), it's THEIR choice, not YOURS.

Get over yourselves, it's not about you.

~Kim

Should auld acquaintance...

be forgot and ne'er brought to mind...

Happy 2014. It's a new year, time for fresh starts and new beginnings. Time to let go of the past and look onto the future. Time to move on.

I've decided I'm not making a resolution this year. They're paltry, ineffective bits of nothing we use to blame our failures on. I'm so ADD I make them, and after midnight hits I've already forgotten what I said I'm going to do in the new year.

What I want to try to do this year is let go. Let go of all the baggage that holds me down. Let go of the cinder block the memory mafia has saddled me with. This isn't going to be a year of new things, it's going to be a year of getting rid of the old.

I'm going to try to stop being angry at people for things that happened (what seems like) a hundred years ago. I'm going to get through this hole in my heart that, to this day, aches for my daddy. I'm going to forget how to be distrustful and live for second (and third and fourth) chances. I'm going to stop using my past as excuses for current situations.

I'm going to try to let go of that irresponsible teenager that still grips my soul sometimes. I'm going to let go of the nasty habits that plague my well-being. I'm going to stop skewing situations and be straight forward.

I know, you're thinking, "That's a list of resolutions if I ever heard one."

My list is quite different that a list of resolutions. My list is a list that will not allow me to blame anything or anyone for failure. It is not something I can "not" do. They're a necessity for me. It's no different than a list of household chores that need to be done.

Yes, they should be forgot...and ne'er, e'er brought to mind.

~Kim