Please Stop...

...bullying other people to elevate your self-esteem or self-worth.


Yep, I bet you had NO idea you're doing this. All those clever memes you're posting on social media are going against what you say you believe in. I'm just as guilty as everyone else.

"Real Women Have Curves."

"Real Men Love Women With Curves."

"Don't Support Gay Marriage? I Don't Support Your Stupidity."

They're everywhere. Every. Where. When we have opposing views, we can, some times, get so passionate that we forget that there are targets in those memes. There is no reason we can't have civil conversations about things. Just because someone doesn't fit into what you think is right doesn't mean they're ignorant. If they're too thin, over weight, gay, straight, devout Catholic, devout Muslim, Atheist, Pagan, has red hair, has purple hair, is covered in tattoos, rides a motorcycle, carries a gun, doesn't carry a gun, swears, doesn't swear, isn't Claire Huxtable, isn't June Cleaver, or whatever it is you do/don't believe, doesn't mean you should put hateful text out into the universe.

If you are SO passionate about something, put it out into the universe in a POSITIVE way.

My Grandma always said, "You catch more flies with honey than vinegar."

We're all real, we're all going through life, but, most of all, we're all human!

I'm going to try to be more mindful.

~Kim

 
I realize this is my second post on the topic today, but it's what's in my brain. It's important!
  

Putting other people...

...down in order to elevate yourself is wrong.

Doing that is a testament to a lack of self-confidence and/or self esteem, or that one person is worth less than another. In either case, the action is wrong.

I see lots of memes across Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc. purporting that "Real" someone or other is better because of "X."

OR

Those messages spread hate. Yep, they spread hate like wildfire.

What may seems like an innocent way to make yourself feel better about your body style, your hair, your eyes, or your paycheck is a simply calling something else wrong, ugly, or worthless. It's veiled in positive words, but if you're the person that's thin, tall, etc., it's hurtful. 

You never know what someone is going through. Post responsibly.

~Kim

If You're Happy And You Know It...

...You're not me.

So, we've moved. Things are settling in nicely for the family. Everyone, except me.

I feel it. I feel it every single day. The kids have adjusted well, they've all made new friends. Party invites have been had, sports have begun, and play dates (I hate that phrase) have been scheduled (another word I hate in this circumstance). The kids are happy, they get to spend more time with Dad.

I'm doing my normal stuff, running kids here and there, getting everyone around for school every day, and cleaning up after everyone.

I'm back in the rut. Normally, the rut isn't a big deal, but *I'm* not adjusting well to the move.

Before we moved, I had lots of friends, people I'd see at the ball fields, basketball games, around town. I wouldn't say I had a huge social life, but I had people I could escape with when I needed it.

Here I don't.

This is a smaller town, quite a bit smaller than the one we moved from. It's one of those towns where everyone knows everyone and a lot of them are related. Outsiders are precisely that: Outsiders.

I was at a soccer game a couple of weeks ago. I sat on the sidelines in my chairs. Two sets of parents, from our school, sat on either side of me. They talked across me the entire game. Not once did they talk TO me. Not once.

Wow!

That is not what I'm used to at all.

So what's happened is I've rolled into some sort of depression. I wouldn't say clinical, because it's very circumstantial (while I do have a bit of clinical depression, that's not the problem here and I am aware of that).

It's really weird being aware of the problem, knowing what can be done about it, but not being able to do anything about it at all.

~Kim

My Heart Is Full..

...and it's not just blood.

The oldest teenager in my house gave me warm fuzzies this morning.

Yup, he talked to me without rolling his eyes, dripping with attitude, and even laughed.

The coolest part, we talked about school!

Usually, when school or grades come up, it's me lecturing about homework or studying or just plain not being an asshole in class.

This morning it was an uneventful conversation about what he could do better and how he feels about his grades and classes.

We laughed, we smiled, and we joked. It was awesome!

It proves, that even though I feel like I'm doing it all wrong, I AM doing something right.

He knows he can talk to me when he's ready. I just have to remember that he's not always ready.

It was small, but it was awesome.

It made my day.

Just talk to your kids. Please, just talk to them about everything. More importantly, LISTEN. Listen to them when they talk. About anything. No matter how small.

It's hard, as a parent, to listen. Sometimes it's almost impossible, but you HAVE to.

My kids aren't perfect, and I don't purport to know everything about their lives, but I guaran-damn-tee, I know a lot more than I would if I didn't listen to silly things. Silly things such as what they picked to have for lunch and why they don't like tomatoes, or the hole in their sock made their toe hurt, or that *Suzie* said that their hair looked funny today.

Listening to those things leads to the big things, such as; "*Joey* carries a condom in his wallet just in case he gets lucky. That's so stupid." Or "We walked by this house and they asked if we wanted some pot."

It leads to conversations about sex, drugs, friends, driving, school, love, hate, bullying....All of it.

Another tidbit of information that goes along with listening; reaction.

How you react to what they're telling you will either shut them down completely or open the door for teachable moments and life changing conversations.

It's so hard, but I try not to freak out when they tell me something big, or about a bad choice they made, or something they heard that makes my skin crawl.

It makes a difference. It makes a HUGE difference.

We talk a lot in my house. Sometimes so much it makes my ears hurt and my brain scream for mercy. It's not always good, but it's good that we talk.

They know it's okay to come to me with anything. They know I won't judge them. They know if it's a problem, I will do everything possible to find a solution. They know that I love them.

That's the most important part; they know that I love them.

~Kim