If You're Happy And You Know It...

...You're not me.

So, we've moved. Things are settling in nicely for the family. Everyone, except me.

I feel it. I feel it every single day. The kids have adjusted well, they've all made new friends. Party invites have been had, sports have begun, and play dates (I hate that phrase) have been scheduled (another word I hate in this circumstance). The kids are happy, they get to spend more time with Dad.

I'm doing my normal stuff, running kids here and there, getting everyone around for school every day, and cleaning up after everyone.

I'm back in the rut. Normally, the rut isn't a big deal, but *I'm* not adjusting well to the move.

Before we moved, I had lots of friends, people I'd see at the ball fields, basketball games, around town. I wouldn't say I had a huge social life, but I had people I could escape with when I needed it.

Here I don't.

This is a smaller town, quite a bit smaller than the one we moved from. It's one of those towns where everyone knows everyone and a lot of them are related. Outsiders are precisely that: Outsiders.

I was at a soccer game a couple of weeks ago. I sat on the sidelines in my chairs. Two sets of parents, from our school, sat on either side of me. They talked across me the entire game. Not once did they talk TO me. Not once.

Wow!

That is not what I'm used to at all.

So what's happened is I've rolled into some sort of depression. I wouldn't say clinical, because it's very circumstantial (while I do have a bit of clinical depression, that's not the problem here and I am aware of that).

It's really weird being aware of the problem, knowing what can be done about it, but not being able to do anything about it at all.

~Kim