The train keeps rolling...

as I find that more and more people I know suffer from some form of depression or another.

I battle with it on a daily basis. Now I understand that there are clinical forms of depression; parts of the brain that don't produce the right (insert big medical term that I really don't care about here). Those are treated with medications with success.

The depression I'm talking about here is different, I think. It's the stresses of daily life eating away at our sanity. Loss of motivation, loss of interest in all sorts of things, and limited sex drive (gasp). The problem with this type of depression (I'm sure there's another term for it out there somewhere and I'll see it on the Dr. Oz show after I finish this blog and still won't come back to correct it) is medication does nothing but mask the fact that we may be less than happy with where we are in life.

Since I basically run our household, because my husband is gone, I find myself overwhelmed most of the time. Three kids, one of which is special needs, bills, money, cleaning, cooking, and a whole host of other things that if I think of my chest will tighten, make my life busy. I'm not always busy in a physical way, but the mental energy it takes to operate a household is staggering.

So my house is a mess, sometimes my kids don't have a shower every single day, and sometimes they do get ice cream for breakfast. I'm tired, I'm stressed, I'm overwhelmed and I'm depressed.

I find myself up all night stressing out about how this and that or the other thing is going to happen. The biggest problem I have is I don't have anyone that I can really talk to about it. The one person you would think I would be able to talk about our household to only seems to make things worse with guilt, finger pointing, or flat out "it's your fault you're in this situation."

The other person I confide in sometimes lectures me on how I'm a bad wife, housekeeper, money manager, sub-par parent, and the like.

Yeah that's helpful. Sometimes I just need someone to listen. I don't need advice, I don't need lectures, I don't need guilt. I just need to unload once in a while so it's not so overwhelming to do the dishes after dinner.



I don't think it's too much to ask.

~Kim