Happy Friggin' Holidays...

...no really, happy holidays.

This is a very bipolar time of year for me. I love the holidays, the wonder, the joy, and the outpouring of support for those less fortunate. I hate the holidays, the money, the awkward forced family moments, and the greed.

Think of all the people who get injured, trampled, or even shot over a pair of 1 dollar flip-flops. What the hell is this country coming too? I mean really, is it worth going to jail or the hospital so you can have the latest video game? Is this what the holiday season has come to?

While our economy is still recovering from a nose-dive, we seem to find a way to spend 500 bucks on an XboX, Playstation, or iPad. Incurring debt for something that's going to have the "newer more improved" come out for the next holiday.

My kids want all of that stuff. My boys are older, so one big ticket item and then a few smaller, more practical things for Christmas, but Santa still exists for my little girl. While I know the "reason for the season," kids are still kids and they want stuff. It is what it is.

I see these wonderful stories of people teaching their children philanthropy, giving, and sacrifice. They're the perfect parent I always wanted to be, but couldn't quite get to. We talk about it, and, when I can, I donate to causes, but it's so hard.

That being said, I think I'm going to have to pull up my boot straps and stop being all whiny and get this season rolling.

I don't spend nearly enough time with my mom, even knowing how limited my time with her is. The holidays are a time when that happens a lot more. That's the thing I'm thankful for. As far as family, outside of my husband and my kids, she's all I have. She's the person I know I can count on, will bend over backwards to make sure I'm happy (still), and she will ALWAYS tell it like it is (whether I want to hear it or not).

The holidays always bring about a modicum of sadness for me. I miss my dad. It's another time I'm reminded he will never meet his son-in-law or his grandchildren. It's huge gap in my life that will never be filled.

The holiday season, for me, is a lot of reflection.

~Kim