When You Realize...

You really love the man that you married, it's both amazing and heart wrenching.

The last two days are so different from the seven years before it.

No, really...Hear me out.

In nine months time, I've adjust to having the other half of me home. I didn't realize how much I had adjusted to him being around.

Although he worked third shift for the last part of his stint at home, he was still there. There were still reasons to say, "Shhhh! Dad's sleeping!" or "Yes you can use the upstairs bathroom, but be quiet." or "Please tell your friends not to knock on the door 300 times because the dog barking will wake up your dad!"

The guilt of not cleaning up during the day and watching him do it at night is gone. The threat of "I'm going to tell your father" is also gone. The complaining that every time I go to bed, I have to remake it because he can't throw a blanket across when he gets up is gone, as well.

People always say, "it's the little things," and it is.

It's the arguing over who forgot to put dinner leftovers in the refrigerator, or who ate the last "grown-up" cookie. It's sitting on the couch laughing about the other's choice of Netflix program. Folding laundry and complaining about the way the other is folding the shirts.

Now, there's none of that except on rotation and that's different.

I miss him.

~Kim