About the podcast
Real Mom experiences
Judged Me
Dear Matriarch
Interviews
Rants
And other shenanigans.
The transcript for each episode can be found on The Mordant
Matriarch Blog. www.mordantmatriarch.blogspot.com
This podcast was born from a blog that I’ve been writing for
6 years on and off. My whole goal for the blog itself was to reach one person
and let them know that they’re not alone in whatever feeling or situation they
have going on in their life. It required a lot of transparency on my part which
wasn’t hard because as a stay at home mom who used to be incredibly social, I
like talking to anyone. Literally, anyone about anything.
If you ask me a question, be prepared for a monologue that
puts the likes of the soliloquy in Romeo and Juliet to shame. Oh and if you
want to debate with me, bring it on. I love researching facts that will blow
your mind.
I went to college for a while. I wanted to become a teacher,
but after seeing what our public education system is up against, I decided that
wasn’t for me.
I published a book three years ago. It has nothing to do
with parenting whatsoever, but it was an accomplishment and I’m proud of it.
What I’m not proud of is the fact that I can’t manage to write the second book.
I now write on my blog (sporadically at best until now I
hope) and I sew and quilt. Two things I really enjoy and, not to toot my own
horn, but I’m pretty good at both.
This podcast plays to the fact that I like to talk. I have
opinions. I have experiences. And above all, I’m honest. If something doesn’t
work, I’ll tell you. If it does work, I’ll sing it from the roof tops. Mordant
Matriarch jumped all over the place in topics, but most had at least something
to do with being a mom and/or running a household. (I’d apologize for the few
political posts, but I’d be lying. I’m not sorry)
I live in a very untraditional household. You can read all
about that in the blog, but you’ll hear me refer to myself as a “married single
mom” and please don’t think that’s a dig toward single moms. Those women are
fucking warriors in every aspect of their lives.
“Momming” has become one of my favorite words that’s not
actually a word, but it makes sense because moms are rarely sedentary and in
constant motion for their family.
In the last couple of years, I’ve become part of the Judge
Free Moms movement, who is the brain child of Colleen Carter. All she wants to
do is unite moms of all types. She wanted to show that as long as you’re doing
what works for your family, it’s okay. What she’s created so far is a community
of women who offer each other advice and support (and sometimes just a place to
bitch) AND she’s inspired a large portion the group to live the change.
What’s the change?
Helping other moms instead of holding them down. Just this
past year we’ve helped mothers who needed Christmas for their children and
turkeys for Thanksgiving. We’ve banded together for moms who have lost and moms
who have gained. There are spur groups for health, reading, and businesses that
are all connected to the Judge Free Mom movement. Everything is in the spirit
of support. It’s incredible.
Colleen will eventually be a guest and she’ll share more of
the movement with you.
I’ve always been judge free. You do you. As long as you’re
not hurting anyone, what the hell does it matter that we’re doing things
differently? I mean, seriously. I have other things that I can waste my energy
on, like ignoring my kids arguing or avoiding laundry.
Sometimes, though, I have to stop myself. Our first instinct
is to judge. Something is different, it’s got to be wrong. This applies to so
many areas in life, but we’ll stick to families and parenting.
This week’s rant:
You cannot tell people that you’re teaching your children
kindness and caring when you yourself are not. Listen to how you speak to
people. Think about it for a second. You share memes on social media making fun
of people. You share memes that are hurtful to people. You post angry posts.
There’s a HUGE difference between being a strong woman and being an angry
woman. Strength builds when you overcome the things that have made you angry,
not letting your anger drive you. Stop letting the fat jokes be your humor.
There are plenty of other funny things that don’t require denigrating another
human being. Whether they see it or not, it speaks to your integrity.
Sure, we all get mad and lash out. Shit happens. It’s human
nature. How you own it afterwards is what people see. If you continually lash
out instead of looking for a solution to your anger, people will assume things
and judge you one way. If you say “Oh shit. I was mad. I meant my feelings, but
probably could have done a better job expressing them. Ope. Sorry!” people will
assume things and judge you a completely different way.
And if I’m going to be judged (because realistically, we
know I’m getting judged regardless of what people say) I’d rather it be in a
positive light.
Children are sponges. They see and hear more than we
realize. I’ve found that out several times (you’d think I’d learn by now but
nooooo) myself.
If we’re empathetic, the kids will be empathetic too. You
know the Golden Rule? Treat others like you’d like to be treated. We seem to
have lost that in translation somewhere. Time to bring it back.
Judged Me:
Since this is the first podcast, I’ll share one of my
judgement stories. I have three children. They’re now 19, 16, and 11. My oldest
is special needs. I still don’t know why any higher power thought that I’d be
strong enough to raise a special needs child, but I learned a lot about myself
over the years.
The time I can remember being judged the most is when we
made the decision to send my oldest to the state school specifically for Deaf
and Hard of Hearing students. The school is 3 hours away from where we live and
we did not move because I have 2 other children that I didn’t want to uproot. I
remember telling people that we were close to back then (10 years ago now). “Oh
I could NEVER send my child away.” “I don’t know how you’re going to manage
someone else raising your child.” “Can’t you just get him extra tutoring at
home?” You name it, someone said it to me. I still get it from time to time and
he’s going to be graduating this year. Fortunately for me, I’ve never really
given a shit what other people think about how I run my family. And yes, I do
run my family. My husband may be the breadwinner, but I pull the rest of the
strings. I have no problem saying that because he’ll tell you the same.
So anyhow, I knew I was being judged and people talk. For
me, though, it wasn’t a big deal.
Want to share your stories? Send an email to
mordantmatriarch@gmail.com with “Judged Me” in the subject line. All stories
will be shared anonymously. You’re welcome to sign them however you like. (i.e.
Judy Judged A Lot or Can’t We Be Friends) The only time you will ever hear from
me is when your story is going to air.
Dear Matriarch:
Dear Matriarch is the mother of advice spots. You can ask me
anything. I can’t promise I’ll see things the way you do, but I can promise I
will always be honest.
I will also provide you with facts if need be.
Have a question that you want answered? Send it to
mordantmatriarch@gmail.com with “Dear Matriarch” in the subject line. The only
time you will ever hear from me is when your question is airing.
So that’s it. That’s a wrap as “they” say in the business…whatever
business that is.
Today’s podcast was sponsored by The ADHD Quilter. Custom
creations for everyone. www.theadhdquilter.com If you can dream it she can do it.
Incidentally, that’s me because no one else knows this podcast exists.
If you’re interested in sponsoring an episode, send an email
to mordantmatriarch@gmail.com with “Sponsor” in the subject line and we’ll work
something out!
One last thing before I go. I do this for free. I’m too
small for sponsors and I don’t want a ton of ads across my site so if you’d like
to help a sister out, there is a “Donate” button on the website. It will help
keep me from having to do all those things I complain about on other sites.
Thanks for listening! See you next time.
***This transcript may not be exact but it's close.
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