Podcast can be found here: Mordant Matriarch Episode 2
Welcome to Episode 2 of The Mordant Matriarch Podcast.
Welcome to Episode 2 of The Mordant Matriarch Podcast.
I’m your host, Kim,
the matriarch extraordinaire.
Let’s talk support. We all need it, but we don’t all do it.
We should, but we’re all swimming upstream. That’s what makes being a woman and
a mother (and whatever other hat you may be wearing) so damn difficult.
We’re expected to be stronger than a man, but not to show
it. We’re expected to run a household, but never complain about it. We’re
expected to have the best-behaved children, but only in the way that someone
else thinks is right.
Am I right? I mean seriously, how can there possibly be ONE
RIGHT WAY to raise children. Look around you (if you’re out in public this will
work, if you’re at home, like me, not so much. go browse your woman friends’
Facebook photos for reference), does every person you see even LOOK like you,
let alone hold your same beliefs and values? Does that make them wrong?
Uh. No!
That’s the beauty of life. We’re all different! We were all
raised differently, by different types of families. Sometimes playing by the
rules doesn’t even work and we’re stuck in the middle of this sea of confusion
and information without a lifeline because everyone is so concerned about
lending a hand. Sadly, it’s not even lending a hand that’s the problem. Mothers
are afraid to ask for help because instead of the support they need, they’re
more likely to be judged about what they’re doing.
I will never understand why women, in general, don’t try to
stick together.
You co-sleep? Wow, I could never do that. You’re a bad ass.
You’re baby has been sleeping in her crib since day one?
Damn! That’s awesome!
Look how easy it is! LOOK!
Oh and shall I mention the breast feeding in public lack of
support. Why should a woman feel like she has to stay locked in her home
because someone might be offended that her child is hungry? Come the eff on. No
one wants to eat in a bathroom. If you’re offend YOU go eat there. Instead of
offering support to the mom who is just trying to live as normal a life as
possible for a mom. How hard is it to not look at boobs or to say anything like
“You’re amazing! I can’t imagine how hard it must be to get out of the house.” And
buy her some freaking lunch.
Women have been so catty, like it’s some competition of “Who’s
doing it righter”. It’s not. If you see a mom struggling, reach out. Tell her
it’s going to be alright, even if you don’t know that it is. Share your
survival story. Let her know she’s not in the trenches alone. Do NOT under any
circumstances offer her advice on her situation. She just needs to hear a kind
voice. You never know if you’re the only person who’s taken the time to make
her feel better.
It doesn’t take much effort to be kind and that’s the type
of support we need!
Today’s rant:
You know, if you’re feeding your child, it’s none of my
business. I don’t care if it’s bottled breastmilk, bottled formula, milk
straight from the tit, or even a baby formula bong (okay not the last one.),
fed is best. Also, I don’t care WHERE you do it. In Target, the mom mecca, in
Wal-mart, in a restaurant, in your car, in your house, on the roof (which
probably isn’t safe but you get the point). It doesn’t matter!
Did you hear me? IT DOES NOT MATTER!
If someone has the balls to say something about you
breastfeeding in public, I hope they trip over a non-existent crack and break
their nose so they have to look weird in public. Because, quite frankly, that’s
weirder than seeing someone do something that comes naturally. Women have been
doing it for CENTURIES. This isn’t a new thing. Got a problem with horse tits?
How about engorged goat boobies? If you’re the one making snide remarks, do you
do the same when you see other animals do it? No. You probably go
aaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwww how cute. I mean aside from the fact that it would
be unsanitary to have farm animals in a restaurant, (you gotta look past that)
you wouldn’t even think it was a big deal…And if you did, please don’t breed.
So, I say FEED EM OR
BUST!
Completely intended
that pun.
Judged Me:
So, since I’m new and no one has been brave enough to send
me their stories (which would be completely anonymously purveyed), I’ll give
you a special insight into my world. Again. Eventually, you’ll get bored and
send me something about you.
Here goes.
I am my worst critic.
Sure, I’ve gotten judged by others…a lot…but in reality, I’m
the worst.
Every single decision I make, I’m second guessing and I’ve
had to make some major decisions for my kids. Decisions I hope none of you ever
have to make.
I’m currently judging the hell out of myself for how a
handled a massively screwed up situation that happened within our family. I
have no idea if I handled it right. Only time will tell, and I’m not sure I’ll
live that long. The mom guilt is real. Imagine if I had my own mom guilt, and
someone judged me. (Oh and they totally would if they knew what was going on)
I guess the point of this rant is…stop judging each other
knowing that we all judge ourselves. No one needs anymore negativity in their
lives!
Want to share your stories? Send an email to
mordantmatriarch@gmail.com with “Judged Me” in the subject line. All stories
will be shared anonymously. You’re welcome to sign them however you like. (i.e.
Judy Judged A Lot or Can’t We Be Friends) The only time you will ever hear from
me is when your story is going to air.
Dear Matriarch:
So, this episode’s question was sent in by Agonized by
Adolescent Absurdity.
She wants to know “Why the hell do teens do stupid stuff?”
Dear Agonized,
Funnily, you’re in the right place. The scientific answer is
because their frontal lobes, which houses logic, isn’t fully developed until
into their 20s.
My take on it is that we’ve become such an instant
gratification society that they don’t even think of the consequences of their
actions before they do something completely off the wall. For example, we all
know that our kids are smart enough to not eat damn laundry detergent, yet here
were are having to remind them that it could kill them. And the whole reason
this is even an issue is because someone became social media famous who did it.
Social media is the epicenter for teens who want anything;
sympathy, empathy, fame, ideas, you name it, they can find it on social media.
AND it’s in the palm of their hands. They can take their access to everything
anywhere they go.
So, just keep treading water, Agonized. We’re not the first
ones to go through this, and we won’t be the last. I long for the days when the
phone was attached to the wall and if you wanted to say something there were 3
ways; over the phone, in a note, or in person and if you did something stupid,
millions of people didn’t get to watch it, they either had to be there or hear
about it 2nd hand (or 3rd hand etc) until it became so legendary no one would
dare try it.
Dear Matriarch is the mother of advice spots. You can ask me
anything. I can’t promise I’ll see things the way you do, but I can promise I
will always be honest.
I will also provide you with facts if need be.
Have a question that you want answered? Send it to
mordantmatriarch@gmail.com with “Dear Matriarch” in the subject line. The only
time you will ever hear from me is when your question is airing.
So that’s it. That’s a wrap as “they” say in the
business…whatever business that is.
Today’s podcast was sponsored by The ADHD Quilter. Custom
creations for everyone. www.theadhdquilter.com
If you can dream it she can do it. Incidentally, that’s me because no
one else knows this podcast exists.
If you’re interested in sponsoring an episode, send an email
to mordantmatriarch@gmail.com with “Sponsor” in the subject line and we’ll work
something out!
One last thing before I go. I do this for free. I’m too
small for sponsors and I don’t want a ton of ads across my site so if you’d
like to help a sister out, there is a “Donate” button on the website. It will
help keep me from having to do all those things I complain about on other
sites.
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