I Bully...

...my kids, everyday.

Yep, you read that right. I bully my kids every day.

As a parent, we all have different parenting styles. We, also, judge other parents on their parenting methods. If you say you don't, you're lying to yourself. As much as we don't want to admit it, we think what we're doing is the best suited to raise our children into contributing members of society. Some are more successful that others.

Thinking about an incident that happened yesterday afternoon, I've come to the conclusion that part of my parenting style is bullying my kids.

Dani came home from school yesterday with her big brother and refused to mount the stairs, to come into the house, in a screaming fit. She stood in the front yard and screamed like someone was beating her (no one was).

After a few minutes (yep I waited a few minutes to see if she was going to resolve this issue on her own), I walked outside to see what the problem was.

I then started laughing.

Sitting on a step was a grasshopper. Just a garden variety grasshopper. Now, I'm not a bug fan, but I would have just walked up the stairs and maybe let out a yelp when it jumped (un)expectedly.

Her course of action was to scream bloody murder until someone came out and removed the grasshopper to ensure safe passages to the house.

No one did.

I sat on the porch saying things like "It's just a grasshopper, it's not going to kill you," or "Geezus Dani, just walk by it!"

It was my way of trying to teach her that she has to overcome her fears because someone isn't always going to be there to save you.

Mind you, if it was a man-eating lion, I would have taken a different course of action.

So eventually, Daddy came to save the day. He picked up the grasshopper off the step, so that Dani could safely pass, and immediately started walking toward her with it.

She screamed and sprinted into the house yelling mean things at Daddy.

Every time I force my kids to do something they don't want to, I'm a bully. Every time I try to help them overcome a fear, I'm a bully. Every time I want them to try something new, I'm a bully.

What I am teaching them are invaluable lessons about how to DEAL with bullies. If it's something they don't want to do legitimately, they're learning how to stand their ground. If it's something that they are afraid of and it's rational, they're learning how to deal with that fear. They're learning that they don't HAVE to do anything they don't want to do, no matter how BIG the bully is. (As we get older, the bullies get bigger)

We, of course, sat down with Dani talked about grasshoppers and all the good they do, and how they are nothing to be afraid of. She's still skeptical, but I think the next time she sees one, she won't go off half cocked, screaming like a banshee. (One can hope)

Now, some people will choose to go a different route than we have, and that's okay too.

Bullies will never go away. Teaching our kids how to deal with them is imperative.

~Kim