...so here we go.
Yeah, I know it's STILL day...um...hang on...day...um...16 maybe...whatever. It's irrelevant.
I'm doing a lot of soul searching.
Trying to figure out what crappy habits need to go and what new habits need to be created is hard work.
Being honest with myself is hard as hell, too.
My drive to help the meds work is dwindling. Apparently, I can only be an optimist for so many consecutive days before I just say fuck it and go back to the old me. Not completely the old me, but a couple versions ahead. Maybe.
My brain fog has lifted some. My short term memory is still trash, but I'm assuming it'll come back around eventually. I can think more clearly. I can focus on things (most of the time) and give my full attention.
I'm still quick to anger. I still don't want to get out of bed about half the days of the week, but that's an improvement in itself. I still struggle to make myself take a shower. I still struggle to get off the couch to complete tasks about half the time. I go through energetic spurts where I get a shit load of stuff done and other days, not so much.
That last thing is really no different than before with the exception that they seem to happen more often than, say, once every 6 months. In 16 days, I've gotten a lot more done.
I'm NOT dealing with stress any better. I've got plenty of crappy stress rearing its ugly head and I just can't handle it. Where before, I would completely shut down, now...Well, I don't completely shut down. I'm trying so hard to keep functioning through it.
I'm sleeping better. I've noticed that my body is getting tired earlier and that I'm going to sleep at a decent hour. This in-turn allows me to awaken at a decent hour and not feel completely exhausted.
I've also noticed a change in my appetite. I'm eating less and not in a "I gotta get skinny" kind of way. In a passive way. You know, I'm not constantly eating. Smaller meals, smaller portions, and it's happening in a completely organic way.
Eventually, I want to transition to Keto, but that's down the line a bit (I tried last month, but I couldn't do it...stress eating is a bitch).
So there it is...A little over the halfway point and there's what's changed, what hasn't, and other random things.
~Kim
❤☺
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