Better to be a smart ass...

than a dumb ass....Right?

This coming from me is only slightly ironic. Considering I'm a HUGE smart ass.

I'm an adult. I know when it's acceptable to be a smart ass and when I need to curb my enthusiasm, so to speak (usually that's when I shoot a text to a friend saying what I'm thinking).

Kids these days are learning the art much too young. My own kids are guilty (go figure huh?). The difference is, I try (yes try because I'm not always successful) to teach them when sarcasm is appropriate. Sometimes that means a monotone voice saying "What you just said is inappropriate and I will deal with it when you get home. So you better just stop talking before you get into more trouble" through clenched teeth and a smile so the surrounding parties don't realize that my kid is lucky they didn't get a slap upside the head.

The problem I have is that I cannot control other people's children. Now before you start getting all "I NEVER let my kids talk like that" on me, think for a minute. I may NOT be referring to you, but odds are if you're thinking that, your kids do that and you just don't want to admit it.

I remember before I had kids I always looked at parents in different situations and thought "Oh I'll NEVER let my kids do that" or "My kids won't act like THAT in public."

Then I had kids.

First lesson learned, kids are going to do what they're going to do. You have limited control over how your kids behave. They're kids. It's how they learn.

I've been the parent that people looked at and thought "I can't believe she just snatched that child by their arm like that!" What they don't realize is that 15 aisles ago, he knocked every single fucking can off of a shelf and I had to spend 10 minutes picking it up and the things he's touching this time are glass.

My daughter has a screaming problem. She screams about EVERYTHING. Good, bad, traumatic, E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G!

There's nothing I can do to stop her. I've tried every thing. Shock tactics, sending her to her room, grounding, slap upside the head, it's just not happening. I've started to remind her every time she opens her mouth that we are in the same room and there is NO need to yell. It stops her 1 out of 10 times. Maybe.

Buying earplugs. New, not used please.

~Kim